I just had an epiphany. Why is it that it bothers me when guests drop by unexpectedly, and I haven't had a chance to clean the apartment beforehand? I've never questioned the embarrassment that fills me as I hastily move piles of unfolded laundry to make room on the couch, while clearing toys off the floor by kicking them toward the wall, before I run to the bathroom to make sure that no one has peed on the floor or left traces of poop in the toilet bowl since the last time I was in there. I've never questioned that embarrassment, until today. After all, what in the world have I got to be embarrassed about? I have three preschool boys at home, for crying out loud! Of course my home is a perpetual mess! Who am I trying to fool?
And that's when I had my epiphany.
Rather than being a sign of a conscientious housekeeper, virtuously ashamed of being caught at a bad time, my embarrassment was a sign of a flawed human being, unwilling to allow others close enough to see my faults. At its root, it was a sign of pride. And I don't want to be proud.
So as of today, I'm admitting my inability to keep a spotless home while also caring for my family. I'm also admitting my insufficiency as a mother, as a wife, and as a follower of Jesus. But if you happen to stop by our home for a visit (even if you come unexpectedly), I promise to welcome you warmly and without pretense. I promise to be vulnerable and transparent so that we can travel this road together, finding mutual encouragement in our humaness while looking to the One who promises to make us something more than merely human.
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