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Encouragement My "Refugee" Journal

How Long, O Lord?

About three months ago, we started a new family rhythm. Every morning, after we finish our personal Bible reading, we gather to share what we read. It’s not a deeply spiritual time with gracious words of truth flowing from the mouths of babes and infants. Usually, it’s more of a rowdy free-for-all, where no one is able to complete a sentence without someone else interrupting, and soft-spoken Mom struggles even to be heard over the noise of the six brothers. And if, against all odds, a good discussion does manage to get started, one of the teens is likely to roll his eyes and moan, “How much longer are we going to be?? Can’t we just finish already?”

But by stubbornly insisting that we all show up every day, week after week, I’m already seeing encouraging fruit. Our discussions are wide-ranging, since we’re not all following the same reading plan. Today we were in Genesis, Exodus, Deuteronomy, 2 Samuel, Psalms, Proverbs, and Matthew. It’s super fun to expand on the kids’ summaries to show how the sections they read fit into the overall story of the Bible, and now they are starting to make connections themselves.

The benefits extend beyond our morning discussions. Recently, my 17-year-old son and I got into a deep conversation about evil, justice, and the frustration we feel when it seems God isn’t judging wickedness the way we see in the Bible. Primed by our daily jaunts through the entirety of Scripture, we followed these themes from Genesis to Revelation and into our modern era. In light of Russia’s war of aggression against Ukraine, this is a deeply personal question for us.

In the end, we were profoundly encouraged to realize God hasn’t changed. Though it might seem like God was always judging evil in the Bible, drastic divine intervention to curb human cruelty has never been an everyday occurrence. The few righteous people living through the sixteen centuries before the Flood probably wondered if God was ever going to act. The children of Israel suffered for a century under genocidal oppression in Egypt before God sent ten dramatic plagues to force Pharaoh to let them go.

God says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.”

These waiting times were soul-crushing. People living through them felt hopeless. But God always stepped in, and from our vantage point, the final judgment takes center stage. We don’t consider how it felt to plead with God for decades or centuries. 

That conversation with my son reminded me that we are living in one of these waiting times. I shared with him some of the prophecies from the book of Revelation, and he was heartened to think that God will put an end to the injustice and cruelty in the world on an even grander scale than when he dealt with the evil Egyptian oppressors. Though we don’t see judgment yet, God has not changed. He has always given humanity lengthy grace periods before he steps in to alter the course of history.

God says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” I love that. I don’t need to make anyone pay. That’s a burden too heavy for any human. It’ll twist you and break you. But God sees everything, and he will repay. Hanging onto that hope is the only way I can bear the injustice of this world.

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Categories
My "Refugee" Journal

Before and After

This is the baby of our family

It divided our life into before and after.

For the most part, I’ve accepted what happened to us. Life is hard, and tragedy strikes indiscriminately. As a wise man once said, “People ask ‘Why me?’ But I always think, ‘Why not me?’” (The wise man is my dad.) 

Categories
Inspiration

Getting to Know You

Each of our kids has a different personality

Relationships give life meaning. The relationships we build with our children can enrich us in ways that no other relationships do. I am experiencing this on several different levels with my preschool-through-teenage children. And while I don’t have any grown children, I’ve witnessed first-hand just how rich the parent-child relationship can be after the child grows into adulthood. In my opinion, one of the most fulfilling aspects of parenting is getting to know your children. 

Back when our eldest was our only child, I didn’t realize just how early a child’s personality begins to manifest. Because I didn’t expect to be able to get to know my baby’s personality until he could at least speak, I don’t think I paid too much attention to behaviors that could have given me a clue that Samuel was a methodical, logical, and analytical person. I just accepted all his behaviors as normal for a child of his age—that is, until his little brother came along when Samuel was 22 months old. That’s when I realized that even babies have personality traits.

Categories
Encouragement

Ready or Not

I recently read an article about falling birth rates. The author cited many factors that keep modern people from wanting to have as many children as past generations, and one common reason is that prospective parents just don’t “feel ready.” In fact, the author went on to share a statistic that for a growing number of couples, the only reason they had a child was because of an unplanned pregnancy. 

While my husband and I are obviously not part of this modern trend towards having fewer children or having no children at all, we still wrestled with uncertainty and fears before starting to have children.

Categories
Inspiration Uncategorized

My Only Hope

My kids are growing up! My husband and I have actually reached the stage of starting to help our older children develop marketable skills and try to figure out what they want to do in life. These days, I find myself contemplating the nature and goals of parenting more than ever before.

Categories
Inspiration

Humility, Compassion, and Understanding

This post first appeared on this blog in November 2014, but I had to delete the original because, during my five-and-a-half-year blogging hiatus, it became the target of literally tens of thousands of spam comments! I now have six kids, from 13 years down to 23 months, but everything I wrote here about my attitude and approach to parenting still holds true!


daddyhand

Parenting is a humbling process. I say “process,” not “job,” because while the end goal of this adventure is a constant, the day-to-day details change over time. My biggest dream for my children is that they would grow up to love and follow Jesus. Period. But how to encourage them in that direction looks very different as they age from 7 days, to 7 months, to 7 years. And the frequent changes and mistakes I make as I adapt to my maturing children remind me how much I still have to learn about this parenting gig.

Categories
Inspiration

The Luckiest Kids in the World

This post first appeared on Assist News Service in May 2015.

We live in Ukraine. My husband and I are missionaries, and we have four sons (ages 8, 6, 4, and 2) who are growing up here. Three of them were even born here. In some respects, their childhood is unfolding similarly to how it would if we were living in the United States. In other respects, it is very different. I think these differences are enriching, rather than impoverishing, and I want them to recognize that too.

Recently my kids and their American cousins who also live here in Ukraine were playing make-believe. But while some kids play Doctor, and other kids play Cops and Robbers, these kids were playing something quite different.

Categories
Inspiration

Faith and the Ukrainian Medical System

This post first appeared on Assist News Service under the title “Medicine and Faith” in April 2015.

My first exposure to the Ukrainian medical system came early on. I moved to Ukraine to begin life with my husband, who had already been living here for ten years with his parents and siblings. At our wedding ceremony in Kyiv, one of the groomsmen, my husband’s 11-year-old brother Aaron, fainted. I will never forget the sickening sound of his head striking the tiled floor. He ended up spending about a month in the hospital.

During that time, my mother-in-law practically lived at the hospital with her youngest son, but I didn’t know why. Later I would learn that most nursing care in Ukraine only provides medical services. Nurses give injections, administer I.V.s, take blood pressure, etc. If a patient isn’t able to fend for himself, he needs a caretaker around the clock. My brother-in-law needed someone to feed him, help him use a bedpan, give him sponge baths, change his sheets, and even turn off his I.V.s when the fluid ran low.

Categories
Encouragement

Why We Chose to Send Our Kids to Public School

This post originally appeared on the Assist News website in February 2015.

We are on our way back to Ukraine after a two-month furlough in the United States. Before having kids, we usually only spent a month at a time in the U.S., but we would travel there every other year, and sometimes more frequently when important family events required it. Since having kids, however, we have settled into a schedule of visiting for two months once every three years.

Scheduling our furloughs three years apart allows us to focus on our ministry in Ukraine without too many interruptions. At the same time, these furloughs are frequent enough to give us regular opportunities to gain valuable perspective on the work we’re doing and hone our vision in all areas, from church planting, to discipleship, to marriage, to parenting. The latter especially interests me, since most of what I do from day to day revolves around our four young children, and honestly, sometimes it all feels overwhelming.

We’re in an unusual position as we navigate the joys and pitfalls of raising third-culture kids, children who grow up in a culture outside their parents’ home culture. We know a few other American families with kids in Ukraine, but most of our friends are Ukrainian. While many of the issues we face with our kids are the same, there are differences based on the fact that the language of our home is mostly English, and the culture of our family is predominantly American. So from time to time, it can be helpful to talk to other American moms and and learn things like the best educational children’s shows or whether the newest Bible story book is worth purchasing or not. This furlough provided plenty of opportunities for exchanges like this.

One topic that came up frequently was homeschooling.

Categories
Funny Quotes Inspiration Laughter

Hereditary Colorblindness?

Unlike the United States, Ukraine does not have many dark-skinned people, or Asians, for that matter. It's a fairly homogenous white society, which means that anyone of non-European descent stands out and might be exposed to ridicule, or worse. However, although I'm half Japanese, I've been fortunate.

I have not  experienced any racism here. Until recently.