Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #1

Kiyoshi, age 2: I don’t want the wind to blow me away.

Samuel, age 4: No, it can’t, ’cause you’re not paper!


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Other wacky things my kids have said:

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

I Love Boundaries, Do You?

Today I'm guest posting on the Calvary Chapel Missionary Women Blog. It's a humorous (I hope) account of a fairly new aspect of my life here in Ukraine. You can read it here. While you're at it, check out the rest of the website. It's a great resource for anyone wanting to get a more personal look at the lives of missionaries!


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Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother: #3

"Can we get a dog?" my 4-year-old asked.

"Sorry, sweetie," I said. "Our landlady said we couldn't have a dog."

He was visibly downcast for a moment, then he brightened as another idea occurred to him. "How about an elephant?" he asked, eyes sparkling.

That's when I found myself saying:

"Elephants are too big to live in apartments."


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Other things I never anticipated saying.

Part-Time Referee

I've never been much of an athlete or sports fan, but I'm finding that as a full-time mom to boys, my job description includes "part-time referee." The games are many and varied, ranging from the expected sword fights, splash wars, and wrestling matches to imaginative games of David and Goliath, Lion and Lion Tamer, and Moses in the Basket, to downright bizarre games like Eat Your Brother, Bite the Baby, and Pee on Each Other (the latter in the bathtub, thankfully). As referee, it is my task to define fair play and enforce it. I make it pretty simple. Regardless of the game, there are only two rules: 1) be kind, and 2) don't hurt your brother. I suppose I could add: 3) don't hurl dense objects, 4) don't use the pictures on the wall for target practice, and 5) don't pretend that the bookshelves are Annapurna and you are mountaineers, but that's pretty complicated for a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old, don't you think?

I loathe yelling and make it a goal not to shout at my children, but often they make so much noise that they can't hear me unless I raise my voice at least nineteen times above its normal level. To avoid sharing my motherly admonitions with the rest of the apartment block, sometimes I'll wade into the fray to get the boys' attention without shouting. However, this strategy isn't practical when I'm cooking something whose recipe includes the words "stir constantly," or when I'm nursing the baby, or (and this is my favorite) when I'm holding the baby over the toilet because he needs to go poop! So in those instances I have two choices. I can temporarily abandon my referee responsibilities (which usually means abandoning my second child to the mercy of his older brother), or I can yell at the boys until they realize that Mommy is saying something and they'd better stop to listen. **sigh** I feel like I've been doing too much yelling lately.

The other day it occurred to me that a referee's whistle might come in handy.

I think I'll ask for one for Mother's Day.

************

What about you? What are you hoping for (or planning to give) on Mother's Day?


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Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother: #1

Since becoming a mother, I have found myself saying things that, taken out of context, sound absurd or even shocking. Sometimes I stop and ask myself, "Did I really just say that??" And then I wonder if anyone overheard me and what they're thinking if they did. So I'm going to give you all a chance to listen in on my sometimes bizarre motherspeak. This is the first installment of Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother:

"We don't lick the piano."

(I can't decide whether or not to include brief explanations or leave you to imagine the circumstances. What do you think?)


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Other things I never anticipated saying:

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

Terrible Twos

Samuel is teaching me the meaning of the expression "terrible twos." I always thought that referred to a sudden onset of sinful self-will, but that's not true in his case. He's obedient and well-behaved for a child of his age, but because of his age, he is always into something or up to something, and it's often something I wish he weren't into or up to. So the crux of it is that I feel I am constantly after him, "Don't reach onto the counter . . . don't touch the stove . . . don't bite the baby . . . get off the baby . . . don't whine . . . sit at the table to eat . . . don't draw in the book . . . close the refrigerator . . . put your pants back on . . . "
 
By the end of the day I usually feel completely drained and hopelessly frazzled. He is at such a cute age. He is learning so much and able to do so many things, but I find it difficult to enjoy the process because I feel like I am constantly locked in a struggle with him as he tests and retests the boundaries I've set.
 
Eventually something has to give, so he usually ends up running around the apartment without any pants or underwear on. At least that makes it super easy for him to use the potty, which he now does without any help or prompting from me.


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