Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother: #3

"Can we get a dog?" my 4-year-old asked.

"Sorry, sweetie," I said. "Our landlady said we couldn't have a dog."

He was visibly downcast for a moment, then he brightened as another idea occurred to him. "How about an elephant?" he asked, eyes sparkling.

That's when I found myself saying:

"Elephants are too big to live in apartments."


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Other things I never anticipated saying.

Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother: #1

Since becoming a mother, I have found myself saying things that, taken out of context, sound absurd or even shocking. Sometimes I stop and ask myself, "Did I really just say that??" And then I wonder if anyone overheard me and what they're thinking if they did. So I'm going to give you all a chance to listen in on my sometimes bizarre motherspeak. This is the first installment of Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother:

"We don't lick the piano."

(I can't decide whether or not to include brief explanations or leave you to imagine the circumstances. What do you think?)


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Other things I never anticipated saying:

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7