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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #9

We live in downtown Kyiv, Ukraine. Right downtown. As in, our living room balcony overlooks a sidewalk cafe on one side, the entrance to a hostel on the other, and a 24-hour coffee shop across the street. (Why we need 24/7 access to coffee is beyond me, but they get business all day and all night long. I once even saw a couple park below our balcony around 3 am, stroll hand-in-hand across the street to the coffee shop, and emerge a few minutes later with take-out cups in their hands. I was a little dumbfounded. But, to be fair, I witnessed all this while standing on our balcony hanging up wet laundry at 3 am, so perhaps there were three people out that night whose actions could have raised eyebrows.) There are plenty of interesting things to watch from our balcony, from cars passing on the street, to people walking their dogs, parents with children, old ladies sweeping the sidewalks with short brooms, and once even a crew of men using a cherry-picker and a chain saw to trim limbs off trees. Our dog and two youngest kids love to hang out on the balcony and watch everything.

There’s just one problem. Our two youngest children are still in various stages of potty training, and as a result, somehow between the toilet and the balcony they manage to misplace their pants and underwear. Multiple times per day. People are constantly passing by on the sidewalk just one story below our balcony, not to mention the people seated at the sidewalk cafe, enjoying their meals and puffing away on their waterpipes. If any of these passersby or diners happened to look up at just the right moment, they might see a cute little 2-year-old boy or 4-year-old boy with an impish grin, a T-shirt, AND NOTHING ELSE! 

Granted, this situation is far less scandalous here in Ukraine than it would be in the U.S. or even other parts of Europe, but it still never ceases to mortify me. I feel like every time I turn around, I’m darting out onto the balcony to haul in one of these exhibitionist children of mine and find him some underwear, at the very least.

A few nights ago, most of the family was still seated at the dinner table when my husband noticed that the dog and our 4-year-old had gone out onto the balcony. My husband quickly called out to the 4-year-old, “Andrew, do you have underwear on?”

Completely unperturbed, Andrew called back, “Al-most?”


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Other wacky things my kids have said.
Categories
Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #8

I overheard this exchange between my then 6-year-old and 4-year-old. Being practical-minded males, they were discussing the purpose of what is perhaps the single most illogical part of a typical female outfit.high-heels

Samuel (age 6): Do you know that she has a very long dress that comes down to the ground?

Kiyoshi (age 4): Yeah.

Samuel: That’s why she has to wear that kind of shoes.

Kiyoshi: Yeah, with the tall-standing things.

So there you have it, ladies. The purpose of high-heels is simply to keep our dress hems out of the mud. If you dislike wearing high-heels as much as I do, just get your long dresses shortened a bit, and you can wear flats all the time!


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

Image courtesy of bigjom at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Categories
Funny Quotes Laughter

Things I Never Anticipated Saying Before I Became a Mother: #7

"Don't eat your boogers;
eat your breakfast."


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Other things I never anticipated saying.

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Funny Quotes Inspiration Laughter

Hereditary Colorblindness?

Unlike the United States, Ukraine does not have many dark-skinned people, or Asians, for that matter. It's a fairly homogenous white society, which means that anyone of non-European descent stands out and might be exposed to ridicule, or worse. However, although I'm half Japanese, I've been fortunate.

I have not  experienced any racism here. Until recently.

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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #6

Samuel, age 5, about our apartment mate’s departure to attend classes at the medical university:

“Mommy, she’s going to the universe!”


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

Image courtesy of nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #5

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You know you live in a Slavic country when your 5-year-old points to a picture of a group of world-famous cartoon characters from the Hundred-Acre Wood and says,

“Look, Mommy! Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger and Piglet and Igor!”


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #4

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This morning after I put my youngest down for a nap, I curled up on the couch with my Bible. This ritual is one of my favorite parts of the day. Samuel and Kiyoshi were playing quietly, because by now they know that when Mommy is reading the Bible, they are not to disturb her. Or so I thought. Before I was halfway through, Kiyoshi began to bounce around my little retreat, making all sorts of little boy noises. I put aside my reading for a bit to have the following exchange:

Me: Kiyoshi, what is Mommy doing right now?

Kiyoshi: Reading the Bible.

Me: And what do you need to do when I'm reading the Bible?

Kiyoshi: Flush the toilet?

*****

I just want to know―how would you have responded to that one?
I have to confess that I laughed. It just burst out before I could stop it!


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #3

I started this series of funny quotes from my kids many months ago, but then I stopped posting my children’s bizarre comments after #2, even though I had several others in the queue. And really, many of them are worth sharing. So here, for your reading enjoyment, is the continuation of
Wacky Things My Kids Have Said.

Kiyoshi hugging his bear on the toilet

Kiyoshi, age 2: “Look! The poops is hugging each other in the toilet!”

(Ahem, this quote had nothing to do with the hugging in the above picture. He was really talking about his poop in the toilet.
I didn’t look to see if they were actually hugging or not.)


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

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Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #2

Samuel, age 4, commenting on his uncle's gift of a guitar pick to brother Kiyoshi, age 2:

"He gave him a pick for his nose."


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Other wacky things my kids have said.

Categories
Funny Quotes Laughter

Wacky Things My Kids Have Said: #1

Kiyoshi, age 2: I don’t want the wind to blow me away.

Samuel, age 4: No, it can’t, ’cause you’re not paper!


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Other wacky things my kids have said:

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.